Being Thankful

I am thankful that I lost my job.  Yes it sucks to worry about money.  Is it worth it to pay $30 to go out to eat when I could probably fill two grocery bags for that.  All new clothes purchases are for Brynn.  I can't just go to Walmart and cruise the aisles and pick up cute stuff.  Yes we have to put off home improvements projects on our house we had so many hopes and ideas for.  Yes, I worry about the future.  How will we save?  WHat happens when Brynn starts needing more "stuff"?  There are so many negatives to living on one income but I tried really hard to get a job and it didn't work out.  I have to believe God has a plan for me.  Maybe it's doing something different.  Maybe it's just taking a break. But what I'm thankful for is:  TIME.

I have spent 97% of the last six months (it's her half year birthday today :-) with my daughter.  I have gotten to see 99.9% of her "firsts."  {Grandma saw her clap for the first time but luckily there is video! }  I would have never chosen to quite my job and be a stay at home mom.  I would have never been that brave or taken that big of a risk.  But it was chosen for me and for that I'm thankful. 

I'm also thankful for the time I've spent with my family.  MY grandma is going on 94 years and I've always had a special relationship with her.  For the past few months I've met my mom there and we spent Wednesday afternoons together.  I'm so thankful for those Wednesdays.  I know if I had been working I would be too tired, I wouldn't want to leave the house, it would be inconvenient. . . blah, blah blah.  My daughter is getting to know her Great Grandma, her namesake.  There's no telling how much longer she'll be with us, although she's one tough little old lady and I wouldn't doubt for a second she could easily live past 100.  But it is so fun seeing how excited she is when Brynn comes over ( I don't think I'M her favorite anymore).  I don't know that I've ever really seen her like that.  My grandma gets so excited to just watch Brynn when she giggles, how she stares at the scary porcelain owls, how she discovered she has hands.  She loves to be able to hold her, or smell her or just rub her soft skin.  I'm getting a little choked up thinking how thankful I am that I have the time to allow them to form a bond and I hope and pray she'll be around long enough so Brynn will remember her.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to go out, meet other moms and kids.  I've met some great women who have chosen to stay home and they have welcomed me into their playgroups, invited me to their houses, and made us feel welcome. It keeps us busy with playdates and events and it keeps this mommy sane. I would have never had that opportunity if I had been working.

Yes, life isn't the easiest right now and I will have to start working about at some point but right now I'm just thankful I'm home, with my tiny little princess, soaking up as many cuddles and loves as I can :-)

Just a Few of my Favorite things. . .

It seems like there are so many little things happening so fast.  Every day I feel like I say "Guess what she did today?"  Some of them make my heart melt because she knows I'm her mommy.  About two weeks ago she made the decision to sit up.  I say it that way because it seems like there wasn't much:  sit her up, watch her tip over, sit her up again, watch her tip over.  It seems like one day I sat her up and she just stayed there.  She's so happy to sit and play and reach. . and talk.  She is very noisy.  She likes to moan and growl if there is anything in her mouth. . which is most of the time.  She is also into screaming and not matter how many times a day she does it, it still makes me laugh.  Just yesterday she suddenly discovered her hands.  She held one out and just stared and flipped it over and over.  She's going through a little bit of separation anxiety right now.  If I leave the room she tends to immediately cry. .  it's pretty fake and cute though.  She's also recognizing strangers.  A few times someone has held her and she gets scared and starts crying and one time she actually put her little arm out and leaned towards me to rescue her!!  She just got a high chair last week and loves to sit in it.  I put water in the tray and let her play to keep her occupied so we can eat our food.  She does this weird thing where she pounds in the water and then lifts her arms behind her head and rubs.  She does that with newspaper too.  She's been "eating" her toes when I change her diaper.  She loves to sit up in the tub and splash and she tries so hard to get the drain.  Her daddy seems to be the only one who can really make her laugh and I love listening to that sound in the house.  Brynn gets so excited when one of the animals gets close to her, especially the dog. Unfortunately they are not so excited about her. She's actually thrown a few fits if Bosco leaves the room.
My most favorite things she has been doing is "hugging."  When she's hungry she puts her tiny chubby hand around my neck, buries her face in my neck on the other side and makes a little impatient squeak.  When someone she's not really sure about talks to her she does the same kind of thing as if it check that mommy is the one holding her and its ok.  After she nurses herself to sleep and I put her up on my shoulder she wraps her fingers around my neck.  It makes me want to hold her forever :-)
I'm sure if I sat here long enough I could think of another handful of things but these are the ones that make me smile 20 times a day, make me enjoy being a mommy to this chubby little princess even more, and love her to pieces.