Being Thankful

I am thankful that I lost my job.  Yes it sucks to worry about money.  Is it worth it to pay $30 to go out to eat when I could probably fill two grocery bags for that.  All new clothes purchases are for Brynn.  I can't just go to Walmart and cruise the aisles and pick up cute stuff.  Yes we have to put off home improvements projects on our house we had so many hopes and ideas for.  Yes, I worry about the future.  How will we save?  WHat happens when Brynn starts needing more "stuff"?  There are so many negatives to living on one income but I tried really hard to get a job and it didn't work out.  I have to believe God has a plan for me.  Maybe it's doing something different.  Maybe it's just taking a break. But what I'm thankful for is:  TIME.

I have spent 97% of the last six months (it's her half year birthday today :-) with my daughter.  I have gotten to see 99.9% of her "firsts."  {Grandma saw her clap for the first time but luckily there is video! }  I would have never chosen to quite my job and be a stay at home mom.  I would have never been that brave or taken that big of a risk.  But it was chosen for me and for that I'm thankful. 

I'm also thankful for the time I've spent with my family.  MY grandma is going on 94 years and I've always had a special relationship with her.  For the past few months I've met my mom there and we spent Wednesday afternoons together.  I'm so thankful for those Wednesdays.  I know if I had been working I would be too tired, I wouldn't want to leave the house, it would be inconvenient. . . blah, blah blah.  My daughter is getting to know her Great Grandma, her namesake.  There's no telling how much longer she'll be with us, although she's one tough little old lady and I wouldn't doubt for a second she could easily live past 100.  But it is so fun seeing how excited she is when Brynn comes over ( I don't think I'M her favorite anymore).  I don't know that I've ever really seen her like that.  My grandma gets so excited to just watch Brynn when she giggles, how she stares at the scary porcelain owls, how she discovered she has hands.  She loves to be able to hold her, or smell her or just rub her soft skin.  I'm getting a little choked up thinking how thankful I am that I have the time to allow them to form a bond and I hope and pray she'll be around long enough so Brynn will remember her.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to go out, meet other moms and kids.  I've met some great women who have chosen to stay home and they have welcomed me into their playgroups, invited me to their houses, and made us feel welcome. It keeps us busy with playdates and events and it keeps this mommy sane. I would have never had that opportunity if I had been working.

Yes, life isn't the easiest right now and I will have to start working about at some point but right now I'm just thankful I'm home, with my tiny little princess, soaking up as many cuddles and loves as I can :-)