I don't want to work. I never thought I'd want to be a stay at home mom this badly. I love teaching and love the getting ready for a new class, and the first day of school BUT I don't want to leave my baby girl! I have been having anxiety for weeks now thinking about having to sub 3 days a week, having to find daycare that would use our cloth diapers, pumping, Brynn taking a bottle. . which she doesn't do well at all, soooo many things. How do people go back to work full time?? She's going to be over 4 months old. I can't imagine leaving her any earlier. Why can't we be one of those countries that pays for 6 months of maternity leave. I get anxious leaving her for a couple hours with my mother who I trust 100%. I had an interview this week and a tiny part of me hoped they wouldn't like me. However I was pleasantly surprised when the job was only 3 days a week half days and I could make just as much subbing 3 whole days!! I actually got excited about this job and thought "I could do this." If it's only 3 half days my mom will take Brynn and I can relax a little plus I get to be home with her more than I thought. I have another interview tomorrow and hope it's for a similar amount of time. Wish me luck!!
This year will be hard for us financially for sure. We're going to have to give up going out to eat, put home improvements on the back burner and cut out frivolous spending. A very wise mother I know said she never regretted having to make sacrifices in order to stay home and raise her babies. Maybe we'll have to sacrifice until our kids our a bit older. Maybe I'll want to go back full time when Brynn is older. Maybe we won't be able to survive with me working part time and I'll have to go back full time. Who knows what the future holds. Hopefully it's something great :-)
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